Slow Motion

Sometimes I feel like I have a slow week artistically. Some part of my brain needs a rest to process or something and when I sit down to draw it's slow and exhausting. It's the polar opposite feeling from weeks when I just can't stop drawing and fill page after page. This was a slow week. I did draw every day but it felt like I had to push myself through it, like the feeling of walking through water, every time. As it does when I walk through water, it felt good, but like I had to use my muscles a bit harder than normal. I don't entirely know why some days or weeks are slow. It's not something that happens often, maybe a few days out of the whole month. I tend to think of it as my drawing mind needing a bit of a rest and I don't push too hard on myself to create anything great during those slow times, as long as I'm not all out quitting on making things artistically. 

I took a lot of short walks this week in search of my drawing mojo... But though I saw things that could have been fun to draw, I felt that some drawings couldn't be done in the time I had or that I needed to come back when the light was different. Maybe it's making excuses. Maybe not.... It feels more to me like needing rest before pushing harder again. Today, so far, it feels like my drawing brain is more awake... I started a drawing of some tulip tree branches and flowers (above) and it just worked and didn't feel like a hard push. So maybe the rest is over. 

An interesting side note is that last night I spent about an hour or so talking to another artist, an old friend who's recently moved back to this area and who I haven't seen in a while. Talking about how I work I realized that I have actually developed working habits in the past few years... It's not really haphazard and sort of thrown together. I actually have a preferred palette of colors. I have tools that I prefer and that I use again and again. Not that I don't try new things sometimes but, I feel proficient using some tools and I can just make them do what I expect and want. It was an interesting realization because I used to feel that I wasn't sure what my preferences were and I tried a lot of different ways of working and tools to work with. I think that little discussion and realization helped bump me out of my slow feeling week a bit and gave me some confidence to keep practicing. 

In yoga they always talk about how you have to show up on the mat, even if you aren't feeling it, you show up, you practice, you keep doing the movements until it feels good and right again. Drawing and making art in general isn't particularly different. I show up with my sketchbag of goodies and I open it up and pull out a few chosen tools and my sketchbook and I get to work. It matters more that I keep going and keep using those muscles than it does whether my practice this particular day is amazing. One lousy day or week of drawings puts off a beginner sometimes, but once you've been practicing a while it's easier to remember that you have had these lulls before, and that if you just keep coming back you will realize one day that you just had an amazing day and it's not slow like molasses today. You have to keep coming back to be able to have those moments of realization. Just keep putting the pen on the paper. Come back to the yoga mat and stand tall and feel your feet connect to the ground. Feel the texture of the paper as your pen skids across the surface. Breathe out as you bend at the waist and plant your hands firmly on the floor and step back. Go through the movements. Draw. Move. Keep your muscles warm so that they don't cramp up.